Interlude Part 2: War of 1812 Dog Parade

(Uh oh! this is taking longer than I thought. I guess brevity is not my strong suit).
PIctures to come...

We started out our journey with Mackinac Island as our first destination. We were going there to enjoy a couple days of Island Life (Michigan style) with Steve and Lisa Brisson, two vivacious, charming, funny museum professionals spending their first summer with their family on Mackinac Island in a 1800s house provided to them for the summer by Mackinac State Historic Parks. Steve was recently appointed Deputy Director for Mackinac State Historic Parks, which take up about 80% of the island (the remaining 20% seems to be evenly split between gigantic 1800’s “cottages” and fudge shops).  That's why he and his family get to stay on the island!

Lisa (or, as she is known by us Leeeeeesa) was recently named Director of the Michigan Museums Association. She also is a mother of three, writes a food column for her local newspaper, is a museum consultant and Elder Hostel tour guide. I suspect she also may be an award-winning beet farmer and champion baton-twirler, but that is beside the point. She insists on being called Madame Director. I know, weird, right?

We had a long drive ahead of us, and had to make the 9:00 ferry to Mackinac, so we didn’t have many stops along the way, save for taking a picture of us in front of the World’s Largest Soup Kettle in Laona, Wi. Wendy, who loves her glowing screens, juggled two to four electronic devices throughout our car rides,  navigating, selecting iPod play lists, planning ala carte stops and researching random questions.

World's largest soup kettle

When we got to Mackinac City we pulled up to the dock, were greeted by the ebullient, chatty and enthusiastic Lisa (and coming from me that’s saying a lot!), and boarded the ferry.  Once on the island we hoofed it through the historic and quasi-historic streets of downtown Mackinac, rolling our luggage through the few blocks to the Brisson's historic summer home located a stone’s throw from the village green. We didn’t take a car, because it was only a couple blocks – and because motorized vehicles have been banned from the island since the late 1800s/early 1900s.

Like Venice, Mackinac Island is a lot like Walt Disney World (but not at all like The House On The Rock). Not only are no cars allowed, but - just like WDW - Mackinac is sprawling, super-cute, expensive – and there are water rides (in the case of Venice and Mackinac, Gondolas/Vaparettos and ferry rides respectively).

Mackinac is so cute that it's ridiculous

It was fortunate that we were making our way to a Brisson manse at 9 PM. If it was earlier, we would have had to dodge hordes of tourists riding horse-drawn carriages, careening down the streets on rented bikes or on horseback, or wandering aimlessly while hopped up on fudge. Because Mackinac Island is tourist central – especially in June/July/August! And if it had been later, we might have had to dodge drunks and vomit – because in the summer, the youngsters come to PARRR-TAY!

After a refreshing beverage and some chatting, we all hit the hay in giddy anticipation of the upcoming War of 1812 Dog Parade, followed by a Dog and Pony Show!

Yes, you heard me: War of 1812 Dog Parade – and an actual Dog and Pony Show, not the ones we see (and participate in) at work! Apparently, we arrived at the tail end of the island’s Lilac Festival, which always features a themed dog parade. In this case, since it was some even-numbered anniversary of the War of 1812 (you don’t expect me to remember or do the math, do you?), the dogs were supposed to dress up in some way that references that conflict.

War of 1812 Dog Parade

What this meant was dogs in little uniforms, or wearing costumes that looked like ships, or just wearing red-white-and-blue flowers or something. There was also a reluctant pony with a fake cannon on its back. Our favorite was the Golden Retriever dressed in an epaulet-laden uniform, who was holding a plastic sword in his mouth!

Indian Princess and Soldier. He shoulda won!

At the parade’s conclusion, Lisa, Steve, two of their three children and Wendy and I walked to the parade terminus, a wind-swept and unseasonably chilly point on the island. After an interminably long time, the dog parade winners were announced (our sword-holding favorite was robbed!) and the Dog and Pony Show began.

Unfortunately, it was really just a pony show (no dogs were involved), and a pretty bad one at that. Apparently, it was officially called a Wild West Show, although it wasn’t wild, had little to do with the West and there certainly was no show. It featured several logy horse-type creatures (some probably were ponies, some were bigger horses – I don’t know the difference) reluctantly doing stuff that may or may not have been tricks, like walking two legs on a beam, or bending at the knees.

False advertising

There was a bigger horse and a younger woman, so I had hopes of bareback riding tricks around the tiny inflatable circus ring. But no such luck, I think the big horse was involved in the big finish, which may have been “dancing”. You could only tell that a “trick” had been accomplished because the sheepish looking ringmaster (who wore freaky yellow-painted shoes) would raise his hand every once in a while. Which meant we were supposed to clap.  What made the whole thing even more sad was the intermission, which featuresda twenty-minute rambling speech by a local aged veterinarian who told amusing stories about pet disease. It was the kind of pathetic display that would have rendered Holden Caulfield even more melancholy had it happened in Central Park!

Now, Wendy and I actually enjoy little community festivals, such as Perogie Days and Rhubarb Days; we find them to be charming, like the misguided displays of civic pride that take the form of giant roadside Paul Bunyans, Turkeys or Pie Dishes. And at first we considered this sad display just another charming, poorly-organized small-town small-time festival. But then we remembered that Mackinac was a major national tourist destination, and that they have a full-time events coordinator (who apparently went to Harvard and will inform you of such within five minutes of meeting her). Frankly, any one of Wendy’s staff at the History Center would do a better job – and do so with less money on a regular basis.

NOTE: Neither Brisson was involved in the Dog Parade or Pony Show.

To be continued…